Soul Mate

They were sipping drinks at the bar when she took a peek at his wrist counter for the third time. 0d 13h 10m. Just 8 hours ahead of hers.

“You excited?” She picked at her nails.

“Yeah. Just can’t believe it’s been a year already.” He laughed, nervously, she thought.

They were best friends. Best friends, she repeated to herself. They’d talked about it before. Their soul mates were selected for them from a list of thousands of potential candidates. These soul mates were the most ideal match for each individual in body, soul, and mind. A year ago, the Counsellors took care to emphasize that the AEPS life-pairing system had never made a mistake. Agape, eros, philia, storge – the four types of love. There were soul mates out there for every individual’s needs.

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Dangerous Games

You take one step
forward
then stop.

The other children are waiting
on the roundabout.
They goad and coax,
but you turn your head
away and say

“dangerous games only get people hurt”

They cry out, stubborn sirens,
to the feel-good side of you.
Just one round! Just one round!
You stop and stare at the
sea of smiles around you.
They are too inviting and
too many to resist. You
spin faster and faster, turning
yellows spinning reds ’til you’ve
drowned in the light, in the sound –

You lose control,
your balance falters

A gentle   p u s h,
and you fall, dizzy and
scared, onto to the sidewalk,
knees scraped, arms bruised,
heart torn.

Your turn is over, they say

They laugh –
and this time,

You join in.

[2006]

Copyright © 2014 Antelune. All Rights Reserved.

Marriage?

Marriage

This was just one of the many pithy quotes by Pastor Benjamin during GenRev service last week. I was pondering it for quite a while because, well, now’s the time to consider marriage as the next step in my relationship. It’s not been easy for me to consider long-term commitments in love. I don’t believe in “The One”, but rather, in multiple “ones,” one of whom could possibly become my life partner. With this possibility comes doubt – how do you know the one you’re with now will be the one to weather the storms of life with you? These sorts of questions make me reluctant to agree to settle down even though my relationship is going well at the moment.

I was glad to hear the married couples at GenRev telling us that on their wedding day they weren’t fully sure they had made the right choice. But is there really a right choice? Barring the obvious red flags, I’m assuming that your (and my) potential life partner is a decent person. But that doesn’t guarantee anything. Two decent people can get together, have kids, and still have a nasty break up. Marriage is a risk, like all other things in life.

I must sound like I feel very negatively about marriage, but I really think that it’s a beautiful thing. It’s beautiful because it’s a union of love (I hope) that transcends the love between two people. Marriage reflects God’s love for humankind, with Jesus as the bridegroom and the church as the bride. Our human marriages are part of that larger love story. But like all human things, the love within marriage is also subject to our imperfections. If I were to place my faith in my partner, I would be setting myself up for a huge disappointment, and so would he. Only one person will never fail us, and He’s Jesus Christ, the third party every relationship needs. One verse that constantly resonates with me is

He existed before anything else, and He holds all creation together. (Colossians 1:17)

By this I know that He holds us together in the palm of His hand, and He will sustain my future marriage with His eternal love. When I don’t feel loving, His love will fill me and overflow to bless my partner. When I feel tired, He will beckon me to come and rest under His wings. When we have an argument, He will show us the most loving and honest way to resolve it. I’m only just beginning to understand the amazing ways in which He works in my life, especially in my relationship with my partner. My past relationships have been very different and much less satisfying because I didn’t invite Him in. But I’ve entrusted this one to Him, and He is showing me how much better it is when we both let Him carry us through the highs and lows of love. There are a lot more things to learn and explore on this journey, but hey dear I know you’re reading this, and I’m glad we’re in this together. May we keep seeking God together in our lives both together and apart, and may we keep enjoying His love for us!

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. . . . And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. (1 Corinthians 13:4-13)

Our Paper Memories

It stood in its pale glory
proudly
on my mantelpiece
all paper and
dust

The colours faded;
beige green blue
twirling twining twisting
into a six-faced
six-windowed
six-holed
fragile origami box

I wonder how you made it
straight-edged sides and all
you never said anything
just smiled and merged back into
the passing wave of
smiling people on the street

I felt safe
with that box by my side
until yesterday
the wind blew it out of the window
into the rain
onto my rose bushes
blooming red petals

I brought in the paper pieces
their secrets and memories
soggy; thorn-pricked
beige people in green shirts
green shirts in blue seas

They drowned silently
lost in the cosmos
You left me

I don’t know how to piece them back
I wish you’d taught me.

[2006]

Copyright © 2014 Antelune. All Rights Reserved.

Red Miasma

A curious sight of black and white
A spitting, hitting bunch of nerves
femme fatale feline screaming hoarse
obscenities over the white noise of
broken bottles, emptied crates and
a drunken menace.

Some arcane ritual in the dead of
night. Demon glaze the eyeballs red
a miasma mist that once seemed too
sane. A futile trap, nonetheless
the gaudy rouge, the ragged breath
the streaks of red in her ragged hair
the strumming lights, like some
clairvoyant eye, seeks to prophesise
some divine wonder. Yet fails to see
the flecks of red, mutilated, that left it

Blind and staring.

[2006]

Copyright © 2014 Antelune. All Rights Reserved.

ODFSSEPG

We didn’t know
We didn’t care

for all the people who
passed us by:
the cycler with the roving eye
the noisy families who stopped to stare
the lonely walker with silver hair

It was as if the world had
Stopped. And time
was meant for
you and I

the world we made was staged within
four weathered pillars set in stone
inside, a place we called our own;
a haven from our busy lives,
a secret safe from prying eyes

We didn’t know
We didn’t care

the sun, the sand, the stones, the sea
all envious of our reverie
yet, oblivious to them all were we –
our world could only hold the sounds
of beating hearts and breaking waves
of fluid words and flirty breeze
and dreamers in a violet haze

And if the world had stopped turning
and if Hell’s fires had stopped burning

We wouldn’t know
We wouldn’t care

(for all the world had
Stopped. And time
was only meant for
you and I)

[2008]

Copyright © 2014 Antelune. All Rights Reserved.

4|\|DR01D

When skies are in the gloaming
And dreams are in the making
When a dead world sleeps on

How about the androids?
Metal men with circuits for brains
and wires for hearts
Do they dream of genies
mirrors and magic
carpets that fly?

Do they dream of autumn
and apple-picking
and lying with the sun on their backs?

And at night do they sing their
strange lullabies
counting electric sheep that
jump over a million wire fences
too high to climb?

[2006]

Copyright © 2014 Antelune. All Rights Reserved.