A Cup of Tea

A cup of tea in hand, I sit
Still. and ponder the letters you wrote
before;

steeped in
strange, nonchalant
curiosity at your new
acquisition, you write.
letters, forming words to
barricade time’s march
against two
falling feathers
from a common wing.

Your words overlap and loop
on repeat; phrases of a
familiar melody that once
pleased the hearer
phrases of a melody that once
phrases of a melody
phrases of

you, the ice cream truck
in a ringing
abscess
of
silence

you exist in the invisible
aquarium of memory where
words slide down glass walls
that break flesh, not glass…

In any case –
not wishing to coax an unwilling song,
I wrote words. My own
Words, must be mined for meaning;
running deep below the surface
of the mind, inaccessible quarks
breaking through cavernous depths,
you can hear me running

from my words, your letters, the grind
of cogs screeching against the inexorable
drum of Life will
Desist.

An arm is lifted. It pours
the tea. trickles down the sink,
too cold, too bitter to swallow.

[8 July 2009]

Copyright © 2014 Antelune. All Rights Reserved.

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Living Authentically: What Antelune is all about

This has been the hardest post to write. Even though I just started writing it today, it has been floating around in disembodied bits in my mind for at least a few weeks. It’s not surprising that the first post is usually the most difficult post to get out, especially if it’s not just a “hello” sort of post. This is a “hello” sort of post but that’s not all to it

First things first though – hello and welcome to Antelune, my little space on the web. I like writing, but didn’t originally start out over here. I had a couple of blogs on Diaryland, Livejournal and Blogger, but I ended up abandoning them all for different reasons.

Recently I was blogging over at CherchezBeaute.com as a lifestyle and beauty blogger. Things worked out for a while – I gained recognition, got sponsorships, reviews, invitations to events and all sorts of opportunities going for me – but I began to feel dissatisfied. It’s not that writing about beauty and lifestyle was boring, rather, I felt that it was limiting my growth as a writer. I want to write about things that are important to the inner me, and beauty and lifestyle topics only scratch the surface of the outer me. I often read and have full respect for beauty and lifestyle writers who are honest and upbeat (Of Faces and Fingers, Bun Bun Makeup Tips and MBB are some examples), but I realise that it’s just not what I want to do in the long run.

I will still be running Cherchez Beaute and perhaps will resume posting in the future, but it won’t be a priority anymore. I’ll be hanging around Antelune much more and publishing all sorts of things – from creative visual and written works, to musings on various academic (or otherwise) topics I’m interested in. These things keep me going in life – reflection and creation – and I’ve realised that anything else brings only fleeting satisfaction. These are my inner thoughts when stripped of all attempts to “fit in” to society. You’d have seen the more extroverted, bubbly side of me had you visited Cherchez Beaute – that’s equally me, just not in this capacity.

In a way, Antelune is the necessary outgrowth of Cherchez Beaute. I am invested, both mentally and emotionally, in everything I put up here. You could say it’s an expression of the self, if you believe the self can be expressed in such a way. It’s about living authentically; being true to my dreams/fantasies/yearnings and tackling them purposefully. It’s about aligning my thoughts, words and actions. All I ask is for you to take me as I am, and if you wish, to continue a conversation with me that exceeds the boundaries of these pages. Thank you for being here.